no Jedi where harmed in the making of my burger
-MV$

Crazy dream Sept 17

Paintball.

it might have had something to do with that episode of Community

we were riding in an indoor rollercoaster with paintball guns (next amusement park ride? I want 10% of the profits, Six Flags!)

the group of us in the rollercoaster were riding around different rooms, shooting either the stationary objects or the other rollercoaster's occupants. 

like this but with more black lights

in our rollercoaster there was this creeper kid there who was like stalking this girl in the other rollercoaster and we weren't feeling too good about the creeper kid so we casually stepped away from his BO and ran home. I got home and my parents were like "did you have fun? did you stop any creeper kids?" and I was like "... what. ugh. brb" and they were like "yeah thought so."

so I went back to the rollercoaster place, they were still playing paintball on the tracks over head and they were shooting at me thinking I was part of the game. I shot a few out of their seats and jumped on the rollercoaster looking for the creeper kid. I ran into an old friend on another rollercoaster (aka we were trying to shoot each other at the time) I asked her if she saw the creeper guy and she pointed him out. I thanked her and shot her in the arm. 

I got to the ground and ended up on a hall way that was like offices on one side and all windows facing outside on the other. I saw the creeper kid and he was deff up to no good but there was no place to hide and he was too far way to shoot. 

fyi. Google images rocks. this is what it looked like in my head.

I ran into a little alcove for a drinking fountain. and watched his reflection in the windows

1st person view. waiting for the creeper...

this was the ensuing fight scene:

I punched him in the ankle. I kid you not. it was even in slow motion. 

do you like me

YES! yes I do. or did. idk. who are you? do you eat? hows next week looking for you?

Ask me anything

Crazy dream Aug 20

     I was on a celebrity reality pirate show as a stand in for Matt Damon because he left and made drama so they just needed a guy to stand in the background out of focus to say its Matt Damon but it was awesome and I started hanging out with Robert Downey Jr. but it was a little awkward because I totally had a man-crush on him the whole time. we were at Islands but a shark sank the restaurant while I was FINALLY asking for his autograph for "my dad". bummer. 

     so then me and this girl were cruising downtown L.A. at night and there was a collection of people around so we were like Lets check it out and it was a court yard like Desert Ridge but there were a few cops around and one guy ran away freaking about the cops so I want to see whats up and go to the Starbucks where its all going down. 
     There is one scrappy guy with a sack (probably of stolen money) and a taser and the cops are just standing around. The dream gets semi lucid and I'm like, what if I just punch him in the face? what could happen? so I did. right in his eye. I reach behind him and grab the wrist with the taser and try to wrestle it away but he sets it off. the cops in the background are like Thats assault! We gottem! but I grab the guy with my left hand and the taser is hitting my burnt fingers (4th of July bottle rocket incident) and its burning my hand but I'm like No biggie, this happens all the time. 

Dentist

yesterday I went to the dentist for the first time in... longer than I'll admit
so I'm sitting in the chair and he goes Here, this is [insert name of pokey thing here] its going to feel like a little pinch. I'm thinking Yeah! Right!
so he's poking my gums [ok.. ok.. ow. ok ow ow OW] and calling out a code of numbers to his assistant and all the sudden he's like "... 2... 2...2...3...2... bleeding... 2..."  seriously? you have a code for plaque but you don't have a code for bleeding? not even like a wink? its not really insuring an air of confidence.

my all time favorite dream (so far)

k I've put up some of my cooler dreams but I havent put my favorite up yet! here goes

actual picture from my brain

so I'm at my house and we are hosting a smallish party and these birds come over and are just hangin out on our fence. everyone is like OH cool birds! but I know something's up because I've seen these birds before (in a previous dream) so I'm like NO! and I shoo the birds off but more and more are coming and finally a friggin OSTRICH comes in and I'm like, k this is rediculous and I jump on its back Donkey Kong style and ride it around a bit before I fight it and break its neck but its cool becuase its a robot and like sparks and wires are flying out of its huge neck

so this ostrich-bot carcas is in my back yard and I realise that it has a huge cable coming out of it so I get my mom and dad and we follow it across the street to my neighbor's house were the cable is going into her house. She's spying on us! I rip out the cable and she comes out and starts yelling at us to get off her yard and we're yelling at her to stop spying on us!

best Saturday moring cartoon ever. I still can tell those twin sisters apart

now I'm in the jungle in a dreamscape seguay and I'm hunting these robot birds and I take aim at a robot flamango and an agent, Mr. White (the black guy just off center in the pic) starts to tell me I can't shoot these birds because they are protected. I'm like. no they're not, they're robots. he doesn't get it and won't let me shoot them so I'm thinking, this is just a tranquilizer dart gun. he's a big guy. so I pop him in the chest so I can get the birds. no biggie. BUT he's wearing a bullet proof vest! darn! so he's not very happy with me and is about to get me and has all the sudden huge guns and lots of other agents at his back (apparently the government was cracking down on poachers) and I'm like, shoot.

after saving Earth, Ironhide and the Silver Surfer occasionally grab a drink on the weekends

so now I'm running down a jungle trail trying to not get dead and then a lil toy RC truck runs up to me and then stops and it turns in to Ironhide from Transformers! he is not a small toy and he's blocking all the bullets and shooting a bit at them back and says "Come on! follow me!" so he leads the way through this trail shooting behind us and blowing stuff up everywhere. he leads me to a huge bunker door and is like GO! and he's still shooting stuff

hey this door looks familiar... and smells like ewoks.

so I go in and all these guys and a few girls are there and they're getting dressed in these super bright gaudy colors and there is a girl, very athoritative and dressed like a shaman at the door who looks me up and down (I'm in my usual white t shirt and short kakis) and is like... k follow me. and she leads me through the dressing room and I'm noticing these guys have like helmets and guns and one black guy has like an axe gun and I'm like dang this is hardcore.. wait a minute. they look familiar!

sweet goodness

so she leads me to a glowing closet and inside are a white suit with gold trimings and a sweet blade and a helmet and she says Get dressed. I was totally FREAKING OUT because I got to be the White Ranger!

shown above: me rocking out with a white tiger on lsd

Best. Dream. Ever.

day 1 of 7

apparently I don't post enough. so. here is a post. idk where this is going...

So I'm waiting to go on a date.

 by far my least favorite part of the date. I'm sitting here. waiting for her to pick me up (by her request) and I've nothing to do. like what do I have to do? pop in a movie? hmm... well I could start up Star Wars and finish it later...

basicly I don't want to get my shirt dirty. she told me she was providing food so don't eat. riiight. obviously she doesn't know my eating habits but I can't tell if the spot on my shirt is from the quesadilla or just dripped condensation from my mom's diet coke. only time will tell.oH! I have an idea for a post now. brb